


drowning til you reach for my hand

by magisterequitum



Series: radioactive [2]
Category: Psy-Changeling - Nalini Singh
Genre: F/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-07
Updated: 2014-03-07
Packaged: 2018-01-14 23:10:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1282189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magisterequitum/pseuds/magisterequitum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What do you know about Mercy Smith?” Riley asks as Drew and he wash dishes from dinner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	drowning til you reach for my hand

**Author's Note:**

  * For [empressearwig](https://archiveofourown.org/users/empressearwig/gifts).



> Happy Birthday Part Two? Yeah we'll go with that. 
> 
> The companion POV to Mercy's thoughts in 'love is all that I fear' here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1279291

“Hang back a minute,” Hawke says to Riley at the end of a meeting between the lieutenants and their alpha. Truly it’s only Indigo and he who are in the den at the moment, the others in via satellite communications, but the message is clear from the bright blue eyes of his friend and leader. 

“Sure,” Riley concedes over the strong desire of his wolf to rush back to their family quarters and check in on Brenna. It’s after lunch. He knows she’ll be done with her healing sessions. It grates at him to have her out of sight for too long. As if she’ll suddenly not be there. 

The thought makes his wolf bare its teeth, claws scraping his insides. 

Indigo leaves them without a backwards glance, hair trailing in her wake, for once down instead of its customary tail up. 

Hawke flicks his gaze up at him from the head of the conference table. His fingers tap the business reports he’ll look at later. “Brenna good?” 

Riley frowns and chews on his bottom lip for a moment. “I don’t know.” An admission, one that he’d never make to anyone other than Drew or Hawke here. Family is family, but this man has been his friend forever and is family too besides just his alpha. “Some days she is, some days she’s not. I just-” 

His sentence trails off, the words not forthcoming. 

Smile tightlipped, Hawke finishes it for him. “Yeah, I get it. Let me know what I can do.” A sincere promise on top of the time he’s already spent with Brenna in helping her readjust and heal. 

He dips his head in thanks. Notices the way Hawke’s fingers continue to drum on top of the papers, how he’s not been dismissed. “Is there something else?” 

Bright eyes turn assessing, focusing in on him. “What do you think about the leopards?” 

Till now Riley’s been standing, leaning slightly over a chair positioned at the side of the table. He puts a hand down on the leather top. Inhales as she quirks an eyebrow, thinking aloud, “They’ve gotten bigger. Not as big as us at all, but they’re cemented in place.” 

Hawke stays silent, encouraging him to continue, listening. 

“They’ve been good business partners. Strategic against the Psy companies.” His mouth thins out, a sour taste rising in the back of his throat. He swallows. “And they helped us against that psychopath. Got us Bren back, helped us kill that fucker.” 

The wolf prowls behind his friend’s gaze for a moment, coming forth at the mention of Santano. Dead by their claws now though. “They did.” 

“Why?” Riley asks, hand curving around the chair’s backing. 

“We have a blood bond now.” Hawke straightens up from where he’d been more sprawled, tipping his head to the side. “It could be useful to see if there’s something more than business partners that can be had.” 

He nods, seeing the strategic point there. “True. You don’t think this is going to be the end?” 

Hair falls across his forehead when Hawke’s mouth turns into something more sharp. “Far from it.” 

“You want me to run it?” Piecing together the reason he’d been asked to stay behind. 

The chair scrapes back as his alpha stands. “You’re the ideal. You’ll work with one of Hunter’s sentinels. Feel it out. See what we can get hammered down. You don’t mind right?”

Riley thinks of his sister and part of his wolf whines at the idea of being away from her more, but the other part knows why he’s the second highest ranked in the SnowDancer pack. “No, I don’t.” 

“Good,” Hawke smiles. “Keep me informed.”

 

 

 

“What do you know about Mercy Smith?” Riley asks as Drew and he wash dishes from dinner. 

Before they’d not taken their meals together even if they all three lived in the same family quarters. Lieutenant duties kept Riley busy; Drew often left the den to run things in San Diego for Hawke and other things he thinks Riley doesn’t know about; and Brenna had been in college. But that had been before, and this is now. 

Now, Riley and Drew make sure not to stray too far from the den. Neither of them can bare the thought of their sister sliding backwards, or worse, something happening to her beyond their control. If they’re here, they can keep her safe. He never wants to feel that worthless again. He wants to protect.

He glances over the counter separating the kitchen from the living room area, swiping a sponge over a dirty plate, eyes finding Brenna curled up in a chair, book in lap. The oversized sweatshirt she has on swallows up her frame, covers her wrists. 

“ _Melisande_ ,” Drew says, the name like he’s tasting it on the air. “Red head, tall, sharp tongue, temper. Three brothers. Her grandmother is alpha in Brazil. Around my age.” 

Riley passes the plate so Drew can load it into the washer. He gives him a shrew look. “How do you know all that?” 

His little brother’s grin is quick and sharp, teasing in an infuriating way that goes with his reply. “Because I do.” 

He grunts. “You know how she is to work with?” 

Drew shrugs and puts away the last plate. “She’s the only female sentinel. Can’t be all that easy. Probably like Indigo. Just as dominant.” 

He thinks on that, figuring it likely to be true. Means that he’ll have to be careful on how to tread here. His wolf doesn’t like the idea of bending to the other changeling pack, but he can see the benefits of the idea. 

“Why you like her?” 

Riley shoves his brother’s shoulder. “Business.” He grimaces at the idea of a leopard bedmate. Particularly one from people they’re not even sure they can trust. 

He’s got other things to worry about, to protect, he thinks, as he looks into the living room again. 

 

 

 

He can admit that he fucks it up by sending her the message ordering her to meet him on his terms. It seems leopard females are no different from wolf females in not appreciating being given demands. Truthfully though he’d just not thought about it. Which doesn’t fly, but it’s how it is. 

There’s so much to deal with, duties and Brenna and the Psy that are breathing down their necks still. It’d been all too easy to send a text after remembering he was supposed to be forging an alliance and contact point with DarkRiver for their pack. 

He apologizes for his tastelesness and it seems to appease the leopard across from him. 

She’s red hair and long legs and watches him with a shrewd surveillance as she eats her own lunch across from him in the old-style booth. Drew’d been right about her being closer in age to him. At least half a decade younger than him, but nothing in the muscle in her bare forearms or the tight awareness in her gaze and manners speaks to her being inexperienced or young. She’d not be a trusted sentinel if she’d not met the challenge. 

“Hey,” Riley says when he finishes off the last of his cheeseburger. “Thank you for what you all did.” 

Mercy’s fingers freeze in raising a fry to her mouth, the same fingers he’d felt the strength of when she’d introduced herself and shook his hand. “What?” 

“My sister,” he says in a low voice. “For helping deal with that bastard.” 

She shakes her head and her green eyes turn not into understanding, but in recognition. “I wasn’t there.” 

“Doesn’t matter.” He shakes his head in a quick movement. “Was still you and your pack. I appreciate it.” 

His throat’s tight despite the multiple glasses of water he’s had, and he’s grateful when she doesn’t try and say anything back on it. Just nods and pops the fries in her mouth. 

He lets her finish and then clears his throat. “I said that things get cleared between our alphas first, but that doesn’t mean you and I can’t set some rules and work some things out ahead of time too. Less work for them.” 

Hawke trusts him to take care of this. He’s earned that, and he thinks the soldier across from him probably has that from her alpha too. His wolf tells him so. He can appreciate strength. 

“Alright,” Mercy gives him a smile that’s more like a baring of her teeth. “Let’s talk.” 

They start with an agreement than any issues will be worked out with no less than at least one lieutenant and one sentinel. The rest of the conversation goes smoother than the introduction. 

 

 

 

Riley watches the straight rigid form of Mercy’s back as she walks away from him, trailing the DarkRiver adolescents as they leave, heads down. The lights from the vehicles make her form fuzzy, but he can scent the sharp spike of anger from her. That iron tang he’d caused. 

His wolf paces in agitation, telling him what he knows he did, but his hands clench into fists. He’s not listening. Doesn’t want to. 

“Not a goddamn word,” he snaps to his wolf charges. He’ll let their respective handlers deal with them, most under the wing of Indigo. Let her break them for this and punish them. The disappointment from Hawke would crush most of them as well. 

“Where’s Bren?” Riley asks when he gets them all back to the den and departs for the family quarters. He pulls his dirty shirt over his head, heading past Drew in the kitchen to his bedroom. 

“Where do you think.” Drew’s answer leans more towards a growl, aggression bleeding through. 

He doesn’t need his brother to elaborate any more. 

He knows exactly who Brenna’s gone to find. It’s not the first time he’s wished Hawke had never given refuge to the Psy that live in the den now; perhaps maybe not to the children, but the one that can’t seem to be separated from his sister. It sets his wolf on edge, that she would turn to someone from the same race that hurt her, nearly killed her. 

The voice in the back of his head that tells him that Judd Lauren helped heal his sister with his abilities rears itself again. He doesn’t want to listen to it either. His wolf growls and wants nothing more than to seek his sister out and put her in the shelter of where he can touch her. 

Riley strips the rest of his clothes off and turns the shower to its hottest setting. It does nothing to assuage the anger in him. Not even when he dries and redresses, makes Drew leave with him. 

Not even because an hour later he’s holding Greg by the throat while Brenna locks herself in her room. 

 

 

 

Cutting wood’s a rhythmic endeavor. It requires precise measurements and focus, let’s him get lost in the sound of the saw. 

He’d started the blueprints for the cabin months ago, quietly ordering the materials. Keeps the tools and such in a slapped together shed to protect from the elements. 

Weeks ago Drew and he had moved out of the family quarters, giving in to Brenna’s request. It’d felt like defeat, but there’d been no way to argue against her. He’d rather her be in the den than away. She is his sister and he loves her, love both Drew and her, and it’s always been him to take care of them. There’s never been anything less. No other option for him. 

He thinks maybe this will be what he has to do, even if it’s not what he wants to do. 

Riley cuts wood, and as he does so his thoughts turn too an entirely different woman. He lets the saw die and groans. He’d completely forgotten about that, the way they’d left things. 

“Fuck,” he swears into the empty air. 

He packs everything up and turns into the forest, starting up a fast jog. A while ago he’d asked for updated information on his fellow liaison. The request had gotten him an approximation of where one Mercy Smith resided in DarkRiver territory. 

Turns out he doesn’t need to get close to her private home. 

Her scent hits him and his wolf shakes awake, tongue lolling out between a relaxed grin. 

Riley finds her in a little empty space where the trees give way to a neat clearing. He can see her well enough without stepping out, stays downwind, because he wants to watch. Interrupting defeats the purpose of being able to see her go through practice forms. 

It’s not the first time he’s seen her in motion. He’s watched her in drills, noted the long limbed grace of her as she stepped about, but then it’d all been finely focused and attuned to sizing her up. Now he’s drawn to the grace of her, his wolf patiently following her arms and legs, eyeing the sweat that makes her skin glisten. 

He’s spellbound and it’s not till she’s winding down that he steps into her secluded space. The apology’s already on his tongue. 

 

 

 

Watching her form becomes a repeated thing. 

He’s nice enough to let Judd stay with Brenna when the call comes in from Wild. He knows Judd’s still tired from the op rescuing the Psy scientist’s son. And possibly maybe he’s warmed up to his sister’s mate; really the entire Lauren family if he’s honest. 

That does nothing to explain why he’s watching Mercy’s ass as she rounds her leopards up into their vehicles. He notes that she has a rather nice one, showcased by the tight jeans she’s wearing. He can admit that. Even if his wolf shakes its head, telling him she’s nothing of what they want. 

Except that might not be quite the truth. He’s worked with her for months now, knows her as well as he knows most of his packmates in the den. She’s an additional limb to him, the person he talks with most outside his family and fellow lieutenants and Hawke. 

When she turns around and straightens, Riley just manages to catch himself from getting caught. 

“See you later, Kitty,” he calls as he takes his own home. 

 

 

 

He thinks of her ass later when he’s in the shower and has a hand wrapped around his cock, squeezing the base. He’d not set out to do it, only the image had pushed back to the forefront of his mind and then he’d been aroused. 

It’s too easy to let his mind wander and imagine what she’d look like completely naked. Her backside in the jeans giving way to bare skin. He wonders if she’d be freckled like other red heads or if she’s that creamy gold all over. If she’d let him kiss her, suck her bottom lip between his teeth and bite down. 

Riley slides his hand down his cock so he can swipe his palm over the head, twisting and smearing the pre-cum. He puts his other hand on the tiled wall, bending so he can lean on his forearm. Closes his eyes with the water on his back and feet braced. 

He goes back to picturing her kissing him. Her mouth opening under the pressure of his. He wants to know the noises she’d make. If she’s quiet or if he could make her purr. Whether she likes someone playing with her nipples or would rather have a tongue and fingers between her legs. He could lick her there. Spread her folds, find her clit and alternate between touching gently and rolling it with quick little flicks. Could put pressure on her mound. Wonders if he could coax her up while he’s on his back with her knees on either side of his head and thighs on his shoulders. 

He comes with his hand jerking around his cock, the image of Mercy Smith coming undone with him driving him on. 

 

 

 

“You’re less stressed,” Brenna tells him while she rearranges the furniture in the now finished cabin. 

Riley shoves a chair where she points to, scooting it across the floor. It’s just the two of them for the afternoon. He’d asked her to help him, dragging her out of the den and to him. He frowns. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

She shakes her head at his suspicious tone, easy smile coming to her lips. “Nothing. You just seem a bit more at ease.” 

He doesn’t move, standing there in the middle of this home he’d built because his wolf had told him they needed it. 

“It’s not a bad thing, Riley.” His sister’s warm as she crosses to him and wraps her arms around his shoulders, hugging him to her. Warm and whole. 

She kisses his cheek and moves away to fix something in the kitchen. 

Riley lets her go.

 

 

 

“You did well,” Riley tells Tai when they make it back to SnowDancer from the DarkRiver lands. There’s blood on the kid’s forehead, a gash on his arm. The younger wolf’s eye are shadowed too, his jaw tight. 

“Yeah,” Tai mutters softly, exhaustion creeping in where no doubt adrenaline has started to fade. 

“Hey,” he grabs his shoulder, squeezing hard. “I mean it. You did well. But you need something, you need one of us, you ask. Me or Judd or anyone.” 

“Alright.” It comes out weak, and Tai clears his throat to say more firmly, “Okay. I will.”

Riley thinks he’ll likely go to Judd, but the offer is there. They take care of their own. 

When his phone rings and it’s her name on the screen, he has to admit that some part of him has cracked inside. He can’t tell whether he likes it or not.

 

 

 

Riley has no explanation for why he’s crossed over into DarkRiver territory, prowling through the woods. Only that when he picks up on that familiar scent that makes his wolf sit up and tail rise, when he hears her talking aloud about being sent someone, he’s all too eager to step out and reveal himself. 

And when he settles over her, pressing her down into the dirt and leaves, he finds out exactly the noises she makes and the freckles she has.


End file.
